Day 3 in Bangkok. Woke up, did some Wats. Pretty cool. Hard to describe without you being here.

Took a tuk-tuk to the zoo, which was sorta boring, honestly. Saw some leapords and panthers, king cobras, the typical little boy stuff. As I watched the penguins swim I decided that, I too, wanted to swim.

My ideal pool wouldn't just be a pool however. It would be the pool at the bottom of a waterslide. Maybe with a roller coaster or two nearby for some variety. I thought, "Hmmm, I wonder if there is such a pool in Bangkok?" In fact there was: Siam Park City, a theme/water park in the city. Having done a boatload of culture in the last two days, I figured I'd treat myself to a purely "Mike Vukich" afternoon: waterslides and rollercoasters.

So I headed over to the Victory Monument, where the website told me I could board a bus for the park. Sounds simple. Then I get to the victory monument. Dozens of busses. All simply numbered with no ID of where they were going. No one spoke English. I get on one bus but realize it's heading the wrong way. Get off. Finally find an information booth . . . that spoke 100% Thai. I finally get directions by drawing, no joke, a roller coaster on a piece of paper and showing it to a kid who spoke a little bit of English. I get on Bus 168 and head off, proud of myself.

One hour later, the park is nowhere in sight. I'm just out in the middle of Bangkok's suburbia, no clue of where I'm going. Start to get nervous. Finally, it appears. I exit the bus, and buy tickets -- 350 baht (~$10) which is pretty pricey for Bangkok and this is only enough to get my two coaster rides and admission to the water park (the real reason I came... the coasters looked a bit crappy).

So I ride Coaster #1 which was an inverted Raptor-like deal. Pretty okay, albeit short and nowhere as good as the Raptor. All the Thai kids think I'm a badass for riding in the front seat as they were all afraid.

Then I head over to Coaster #2, which, after riding, I affectionately titled "Gulag: The Ride" (I know it doesn't exactly fit, but work with me). This was hands-down the worst and most painful rollercoaster I have ever been on. It was essentially the old Lazer Loop at Kennywood, but riding it was like getting lazers in my neck and back. Holy hell. It was obviously a Soviet creation, you could just tell by the "We want to be like the Americans but simply aren't as good" look and feel to every detail of the ride -- the crappy cars, the crappy platform, the fact that it nearly broke my head off. Good lord. At least now I have a concensus #1 Worst Coaster Ever on my list.

Then I headed over to the water park, which was decent enough. Honestly, I can't explain to you how amazing it felt to submerge myself in water. It's like 95-105 everyday. Sweat soaks through my clothes within 10 minutes of walking outside. It's embarassing / disgusting. The water was amazing. Amazing.

I took off around 5, which at the time seemed like a good idea. The park wasn't too far from downtown Bangkok; I could see the skyline from the top of the coasters and the stupidly tall speed slides I went down (which also beat the crap out of my back). First I get on the wrong bus. It drops me off in the middle of nowhere.

Then I get picked up by the right bus. They have no idea where I want to go so I show them the picture of the Victory Monument on my camera as they speak no English. They look at it and laugh. I wonder why. I found out why over the next two hours. Two hours it took! TWO HOURS ON A BUS. To get a matter of maybe 10-20km.

We get to the Monument and of course it is pouring. I finally eat, make it back to Khao San and drink two beers in a matter of minutes. And here we are.

- m